Jet Pack CopsEdit

The ChiefEdit

Does The News segments and dispatches the Jet Pack Cop.

The Chief was a Jet Pack Cop for years. He answers directly to The Council of Elders. He often finds himself in conflict with Brother Mathias or Hannah Hawk because of tensions within The Accord.


Does the Human Repair call-in show.

A cargo robot from before The End. Left dormant for 100 years, XT was activated by the first Jet Pack Cops. She has developed an intense interest in human psychology.

Cliff DangerEdit

Cliff’s father was a traveling merchant with a small home in Oldenburg. While traveling, he came across a woman who was separated from her cannibal tribe. He brought her home and cared for her, trying to make her a domestic wife. But her wild heart could not be tamed, and she left soon after Cliff was born. Cliff’s father never recovered, becoming a degenerate alcoholic. Cliff grew up on the streets and was saved from his life as a street thug by the Jet Pack Cops.

Harriette T’KembeEdit

From The Bonepatch. She’s a strong and capable veteran. Very cheeful and calm.

Clemence FiddledownEdit

Born and raised in Dustown, Clemence was a friendly cowboy-type and a veteran Jet Pack Cop. He died when Cannibals collapsed a cave on him.

Vermilion "Frankie" HuangseEdit

Vermilion, known to everyone as "Frankie", grew up in a rich family in Leslie from the upper 'Chrome' caste. She is friendly and upbeat, but takes her job very seriously. She gave Sarah Bugra (a member of the lower 'Bland' caste) the nickname ‘Booger.’

Tepa RaslavEdit

Tepa co-hosts the segment Tech Talk/OldenWays.

From Bill's Pit, Tepa is the best mechanic in The Accord. She has a frank, straightforward way and is also talented with explosives.

Horrace YusifEdit

Horrace co-hosts the segment Tech Talk/OldenWays.

Raised and educated in Oldenburg, Horrace is whip smart, but maybe not as smart as he thinks. He knows a little bit about ancient technology.

Burt PollinoEdit

A simple farmboy from Bandolier. Burt is kind and friendly.

Rocky DhakarEdit

A slick, athletic, handsome young man from Russett. Rocky is a champion knife-thrower.

Rook StoltzEdit

Born in the village of Eastden, outside The Accord. Mutants surprise-attacked his family, killing all but Rook. Rook traveled alone across the Great Mountains and found shelter with the Jet Pack Cops.

Sarah "Booger" BugraEdit

The newest Jet Pack Cop, Sarah is from the 'Bland' lower caste in the village of Leslie. Sarah is still a bit inexperienced and idealistic.


Cooky BernieEdit

"Cooky" Bernie owns his own trading shop, Cooky Bernie's Come & Trade. He is a gregarious, though manipulative, merchant.

Dale GleebumEdit

The lead scientist at Toyco's Child Research and Funtime Labour Camp.

Hannah HawkEdit

Hannah has tried several times to distribute a newspaper throughout The Accord, but geography, apathy and government resistance have always stopped her. The reconstruction of the radio transmitter allows Hannah the opportunity to revive the long dead tradition of investigative journalism. Hannah is deeply suspicious of both The Council of Elders and the Jet Pack Cops.

Jack CarothersEdit

An excitable commentator of stashball games.

Jam HandyEdit

One of The Accord's two practicing lawyers. He has folksy wisdom and a silver tongue.

Jefferson SquibblyEdit

A very old man who saw the broadcast tower fall in a storm 60 years ago. Very grumpy and ready to die.

Lisa “The Wozz” WazzleapchekEdit

A serious stashball journalist and The Accord's official stashball referee.

Matris RemillardEdit

The 82-year old leader of The Council of Elders. Profoundly detached from the goings on in The Accord, Remillard has lived a life of privilege and is going a bit senile. But she does mean well.

Mental MableEdit

Savvy businessperson who owns a series of salons which offer Dirtsight, the practice of telling the future by digging a hole and examining it.


Oldenburgian fancypants. Frequent caller to XT-3000’s show.


Youngling BrownEdit

Youngling Brown is a young child chosen as the First Picker in Bandolier's Stinksprout Harvest. His face was eaten by cannibals.

WW BushmanEdit

WW, or "Double-double-U" is a wealthy grain merchant and the mayor of Bandolier.


A citizen who calls in to Human Repair to complain about their life as a pony-brusher.


A plainspoken common man who often calls in to XT-3000’s radio show.

Belinda ZugginsEdit

A pretty psychopath. She enters the End Day Survivor Pageant and makes it to the finals.

Bill's PitEdit

Oleg GuptaEdit

Oleg is the president and CEO of the Tar Corporation.

The BonepatchEdit

Chip SligginsEdit

Chip Sliggins is the bar tender at the Bonepatch World-Class Spa and Resort.

Sally "Lady" GrisEdit

Owns and runs the Bonepatch Roadhouse. Also owns and runs the Bonepatch World Class Spa and Resort.

Dick WinterbodyEdit

Does Winterbody's Wasteland Wisdom segment.

Dick Winterbody is a resident of the truly horrible settlement in The Bonepatch. He prides himself on being able to survive anything, dismissing all luxury as ‘a waste of calories.’


Fredward BeaujeuxlaisEdit

A prominent resident of the Beuajeuxlais side of Dustown.

Billie DanielsEdit

Does the Folklore with Billie segments.

A member of the Daniels Clan, Billie is a folklore-ist and musician. He is generally happy and upbeat. Billie knows a huge number of old stories and Songs.

Spram DeBrussieEdit

A native of Dustown on the Beaujeuxlais side.

Sassy FiddledownEdit

The daughter of Jet Pack Cop Clemence Fiddledown.

Ramblin’ JackEdit

A traveling musician, who knows many folk songs.


An official Dustown hillbilly.

Hillbilly#2/Jilly Joe ChongEdit

A casual Dustown hillbilly.


Scarlett BlueEdit

The leader of the rich Chrome caste of Leslie. Scarlett maintains the social order in her town. She is the very picture of smiling bigotry.

Harry FitzgibbonEdit

Owns Harry’s Hammers in Leslie. He stars in his own commercials for his hammers, but doesn’t have much confidence in either himself or his product. A member of the Chrome caste.

Dance PlancyEdit

Captain of the Leslie Ochre Devils stashball team. A member of the Bland caste.

Leslie Pigment Factory RobotEdit

A pigment stirring robot down in the tunnels beneath the Leslie Pigment Factory.



A young and noble Abnorm living in Mutantown.

Brother MathiasEdit

Does the Abnormal Devotional segment.

Brother Mathias leads the village of Mutantown and all the Abnorms in their strange religion. He is suspicious of outsiders and deeply bitter about how his people are treated in the Accord.

Mutant OneEdit

An ordinary Abnorm.

Mutant TwoEdit

Another ordinary Abnorm.

Mutant SacrificeEdit

An innocent Abnorm who was going to be burned alive in order to end a Darkstorm.

Sister SlanEdit

Brother Mathias’s rebellious Abnorm daughter.


Flick BomminoEdit

A graphic designer and dodger of the Stashball Draft.

Crash JohnsonEdit

The star knifer for the Russett Stingrats stashball team. Crash is a little slow, but he always gives it 110%. He’s the spokesperson for Grandma Murray’s Willow Concoction.

Mr. SaltzmanEdit

Runs the Russett Salt Co-op and salt mine. Un-charismatic-ally stars in all of his own commercials for Salt.

JP WelderEdit

A local boulder-mover. Not a welder.

Outside The AccordEdit

Cannibal QueenEdit

The nominal leader of all of the cannibal tribes.

Alistair CrookEdit

Cliff Danger’s former partner in the Jet Pack Cops. Alistair was presumed dead, but has recently reemerged. Where he went is unknown.



Smooth talkin’ person who reads ad copy.

Cheesy SingerEdit

Sings terrible ad jingles.


A citizen of The Accord who calls into XT-3000s show Human Repair for help with their chewing addiction.

CHEWSTIX! Testosterone DudeEdit

The extreme, high-octane spokesperson for CHEWSTIX!.

Crazy HermitEdit

A crazy hermit who lives alone in the wastes and may have fallen in love with himself.

Danny, Dusty and LaylaEdit

Culinary processor's at Aunty Bulma's Clockround Eatery.


Suburban parents used in Toyco commercials.

Feldman's CowboyEdit

The official spokesperson of Feldman's Chewin' Root.

Gourd KidEdit

A creepy little kid who makes they're own dolls out of dried gourds.

Grim Reaper/Victor BarbeauxEdit

Victor is the official being of Aunty Bulma's. And at the End Day Town Festival, Victor plays a friendly death mascot for kids to celebrate End Day.


A snooty butler featured in the Sticky Cricket Drinking Sauce commercials.

Luxury AnnouncerEdit

A spokesperson for high end products like Dogheart Dogcarts.


A person who climbs mountains without the aid of Captain Schmelli's Good Time Bear Spray.


Ugfohl is a cannibal who would like to give up his barbarism and move to The Accord.